Small Town

An old college friend of my boyfriend's was in town this weekend and invited us over for dinner at his parent's house. Let's call my boyfriend "Bob," and let's call his friend "Tom." Tom also invited another old friend of his, a woman involved in a local charity. Let's call her "Sally." I happened to realize recently that Sally was my neighbor--I pass her vehicle, peppered with stickers promoting the charity, almost every morning as I take my son--let's call him "Zane"--to his dad and stepmom's house. Let's call Zane's dad "Joey," and his stepmom, "Jessica."

We arrive at Tom's parent's house, located in the lower foothills of the Santa Catalina Mountains, and Zane is delighted to discover that Tom not only brought his son, but his son is a whirlwind of talkative fun. Zane disappears. I'm pretty sure his evening involves hiking in a wash, splashing in a goldfish pond, surfacing to eat spaghetti and garlic bread, and watching both Lego Star Wars and Justin Bieber videos on YouTube. Not surprisingly, he falls asleep--hard--on the ride home.

While the kids are off terrorizing the local wildlife, the adults make small talk. I'm not good at small talk. It's usually awkward and forced, and I'm relieved that not only are Tom's parents easy to talk to, but his friend Sally is a hoot. We drink wine and eat crackers and cheese and laugh on the couch while watching the sun set. We discover that we are both divorced, and that, sometimes, divorce is a really good thing. I talk about how, at first, the transition was hard, but once my ex found someone new, got married and had a baby, it got so much easier. Sally says--wait! Is it Jessica? I nod, surprised, and we burst into gales of laughter, interrupting the other conversations and garnering strange looks.

I explain through a mouthful of crackers and cheese that Sally knows Joey and Jessica. She adds that she was at the their wedding and recently went hiking with Jessica.

I immediately review what I said. Oh my god, did I say anything that was too mean, too bitter, too casual? Did I say anything that, if it made its way back to Jessica and/or Joey, would sound crass or judgmental or angry? The divorce may have been a good thing, and I may be glad that my ex is now happy with his new family, but we had 11 years of a sometimes-difficult and not-always-healthy relationship that was not all peaches and cream, and I've been known to "open mouth, insert foot." Satisfied that I behaved appropriately, I re-join the conversation.

Later, gathered around the dining room table, I mention something about one of Bob's nieces. Let's call her "Andie." Sally says--wait, I played soccer with Andie. She lists Andie's mom, sister and then, surprising us both, since he's not really in the picture, Bob's brother.

Yes, she knows Bob's family. And mine. And she lives behind me in mid-town. And yet we didn't meet until last night at an out-of-town's friend's parent's house in the foothills. Although the Tucson metro area is close to one million people, it still really is a small town.